I hate it when I’m creepy…sort of

Coming home on the train tonight one set of doors wouldn’t open. Aside from the amusement factor of watching human after human after human walk into the stubbornly refusing to open doors the following happened. Thankfully it was all in my head.

In my head -  ‘Hmmm, one of the four sets of doors is no longer operational. That means that if just three more sets of doors fails we will be trapped in here. Huh, which one of you will I eat first?’

What? Like you never have those thoughts?

• Which person would be the easiest to take down?
• Do you take out a little one or a big one?
• If you take out a big one, will they get fully consumed before they start to go bad.
• If you take out a little one and you don’t get rescued quickly enough, will you probably have to take out another little one?
• Do you have two little ones?
• Screw it, just start with a big one???
• Etc, etc, etc

Right? Now come on, it’s not only me having these thoughts!

So much to see & do

The commute for my new job is pretty long, like almost 3 hours a day long. So, I’ve been trying to find new (read quicker) ways of getting to and from. And if not quicker, at least more interesting things to look at. So far, 41st Avenue is probably the quickest, by about 5 minutes. But it is painfully boring and the bus is painfully full. If I’m going to be uncomfortable I at least want to be kept amused. So, on Friday I tried going down Cambie then taking the Broadway bus over to the train. Saw some very cool things. Like this sculpture by Magdalena Abakanowicz called Walking Figures at the corner of Broadway and Cambie:

For scale here is my rather large size 10 foot:

Very cool. They feel like they are marching off to downtown Vancouver.

There was also a man in a cowboy hat busking with a banjo:

Infinitely more interesting than taking the bus along 41st.

Then, since it was Friday, I took myself out for a little dinner followed by a wee study party at the library. Where did I go for dinner you ask? Don’t be silly! I was at Broadway & Commercial, how could I not go to Buddha’s Orient Express for ridiculously bad for me food?

And while I was there I had a moment of perfect contentment. End of a long week, hot yummy dinner, watching the people going about their lives outside, listening to snatches of conversations every time the door was opened. It was really quite perfect.

Look, even the top of my food box was smiling. I wish I could have distilled that feeling and put it in a bottle.

I spend a lot of time…

On transit:

I don’t drive so me and the bus/train/neighbourhood bus, we’re pretty close. I’m also crazy nosy and get bored easily. Like most 5 year olds you see out and about unattended. So, to stop me from mumbling and wandering off I try to find things to take pictures of. It’s like having an electronic pacifier for when I’m out in public. Today’s roundup:

Willing to bet this one is a little bit different from the one in Harry Potter. Probably a fair bit more vomit & people yelling, “No man! I love you!”

Reading:

As evidence, I offer this photo:

I went to pick up one book that I had pre-ordered. It was even prepaid. There was absolutely no reason for the additional 4 books that leapt into my bag. Sigh.

Knitting:

This is my next big project. Still in string form, obviously:

Top down cardigan starting with the lightest and moving to the black. So excited!

Being distracted:

Bus bench engraved graffiti

The Fraser River and a rather unsettled bit of weather for the commute home.

Now, I’m going to have grilled cheese sandwiches & tomato soup for dinner, look at my books, and hopefully not get greasy fingerprints on the pages.

Happy Thursday.

Tuesday, and still no Joe

Two morning commutes and no Joe. I’ll be honest, this makes me inordinately happy. Having to be all strong and stuff at 6:15 am in the daylight savings time week just seems a bit ridiculous. Thanks for all your ideas & suggestions. You guys are most creative.

This morning, this person who I thought was a woman, (turned out to be a man) standing with me at the bus stop was farting up a right storm. Keep in mind, we were the only two people there. They weren’t going to lose their place in line if they happened to wander off a few feet to drop those air biscuits. Sigh. My hopes for this neighbourhood are being ground down and down and down.

But then, the same farty person shared my entire commute with me. One bus, then a train, then another bus, then a stop at the coffee shop. As far as I’m concerned, they were just messing with me at that point.

On the ride home today, cheek by jowl with all the other poor transit souls I looked up and saw this:

Isn’t that great? It’s from the book Inward to the Bones: Georgia O’Keeffe’s Journey with Emily Carr. Go ahead, click the link. Some very cool stuff. It’s all a part of the Poetry in Transit. Look! Another link. I’ll wait.

And, I just got a message that the book I ordered on Friday is already in at Pulp Fiction Books. Almost magic! Perhaps I’ll see if they have any of Kate Braid’s books in stock while I’m there tomorrow.

Happy Wednesday.

Waiting for the bus, now with moral complications

My new commute is quite a bit longer than the old one. A bus, then the train, then another bus, then a wee walk. It takes a little over an hour all together. This past Friday first bus was late. 15 minutes late. While waiting this gentleman struck up a conversation with me. Let’s keep in mind that it was 6:05 a.m. His name was Joe, he was very polite, nicely dressed, and a lovely voice with this sort of round African accent. And he really wanted to talk to me about Jesus. Sigh. After we had exchanged names and apparently enough chit-chat that we could move right on to everlasting life talk, things went kind of like this:

J: So Tammy, do you believe in Jesus?
M: No. I believe in science and humans taking care of each other and themselves.
J: But what about everlasting life? Don’t you want to believe in that?
M: No. No I don’t.One life is quite long enough.
J: Are you married? Do you have children? Don’t you believe that god is looking down on them and taking care of them?
M: No. No I don’t. And I don’t want to and I’m not interested in religion. At all.

Keep in mind, I was being super polite, because he was being super polite. He wasn’t all up in my face and challengey, ’cause then I wouldn’t have been polite. I was starting to thing, where the hell is the bloody bus!!!!?!@?!?! though.

J: Don’t you want to have more success in your career? Promotion?
M: No. I’m fine.
J: Don’t you want to make more money?
M: No. I’m fine.
J: What about a better retirement more financial freedom?
M: No. That’s my responsibility and I will take care of that.
J: I will pray for you.

Sigh.

Now, at this point I’m thinking, surely, if there is a god, they have much more important things to worry about than me getting a promotion and not eating cat food when I retire. Don’t they? If not, they are simply not using their time in a very proactive way.

Finally, the bus shows up. Ironically enough I’m thinking ‘SAVED!’. But no. Of course Joe sits with me, because of course we’re not done yet. Then he hands me a pamphlet and asks me to read it so we can talk more on Monday.

Are you freaking kidding me? At this point I’m just sliding into full on Canadian mode and trying as hard as I can not to engage. Plenty of nod & smile, which probably didn’t do me any favours.  I don’t want to offend, but I’m really feeling trapped by this ridiculously polite man. We finally arrive at the train, then it’s on to my second bus which drops me off near my office. As I’m getting off the bus, boom, I hear, ‘Oh, hello, Tammy!’ OFFS, it’s Joe. He’s going to Richmond dontcha know, so he takes almost the exact same commute as me.

The passive aggressive in me just wants to find another route for my commute. But, I’m not going to do that. Nope, I’m not. I’m going to explain to him that while Joe has freedom of religion I also have freedom of non-religion. And that I’m happy to chat with him in the morning, however; I will not be discussing religion and the possibility of me becoming religions.

And, if that doesn’t work, I’m totally falling back on vaguely passive aggressive technique of changing my commute route.

In other news, spring is definitely coming as evidenced by two spastic dogs hurling themselves around the back yard this morning.

I also realized that buying a scone or a muffin at a coffee shop in the morning is ridiculous and expensive and fattening. Therefore it was bake all the things this morning. All the things seemed to include cheese, ham, and onions, BTW. Oh, and multi grain flour. ‘Cause fibre…totally undoes what cheese and ham have wrought? Yeah, prolly not.

And, for the ever curious Damselfly, here are my new shoes. One pair of Dansko’s (in the back) and one pair of Clarks. Both eminently qualified for walking to and from buses and trains on week days.

And hopefully good for running from people trying to convert me. Oh, and zombies. Always good to be able to out run the zombies.

You had me at public embarrassment

There’s this little indie coffee shop on my way to work. Amazing pecan muffins, just sayin’. The main reason I first went into this place was the fantastic sign on their door:

No public washroom. No public phone. No excuses. Right, fine. Got that. But then…Failure to comprehend to this sign will automatically entitle you to public embarrassment. NICE! I am all for a bit of public shaming once in awhile. Now, I stop there every morning for my coffee just in the faint **hope** that I might see a little public embarrassment.

None so far, but I am hopeful.

This afternoon on the bus I could here this sort of clicking noise behind me. I turned around and boom. There was the 70′s. Just sittin’ there.

A Rubik’s cube, guys! For realz. And a teenage boy actively working on solving it. Magic. I felt like the 41 bus had turned into a Tardis and I had fallen back in time. I’d like you to also note the Cybermen headphones this kid is also sporting. You just know those things are creating some sort of electrical field and in 10 years ‘they’ will tell us those things caused brain tumours.

Then, later, on the train, another pair!

The same brand, only in purple. And just as huge. Then I started actively looking and I counted 5 more pairs of these things in the next 10 minutes of my train ride.

Apparently I’ve missed yet another trend. I think I’m okay with missing this one, actually.

Thursday. Always better than Monday.

First off, yeah I totally failed at the technology thing and couldn’t turn off the comments on my last post. That said, it was really nice to read some supportive and positive messages. Thanks! I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Y’all rock!

In super fantastic positive news, the RCMP have caught and charged those that they believe are responsible for Sunday night’s shooting. Can I get an amen? Testify! I am sooooo going to sleep tonight.

In other way more eclectic news, I’ve been seeing some more interesting things on the new commute. Wanna see? Sure you do! Look!

A snowy morning commute yesterday!

Some cool heads behind the bus stop at Kingsway and Slocan??? I think???

Hmmmmm, really? Okay...

This was written on the curb (kerb?) at the bus stop yesterday. The teenager I walk in front of to take the picture gave me a look of pure disgust that I was taking a picture. Whatever!

It reads, ‘None of this will matter when you’re 75 and you can’t piss or shit or walk. so smile ‘

I was just happy that they used the correct form of you’re. Mainly because I didn’t have a red Sharpie on me to mark in corrections if necessary.

Snort. Happy Thursday, guys!

Tuesday-ish things that make me smile

I love autumn more than any other season.  All those reds and golds and purples just make my little head swoon.  This gorgeous piece of fall art is happening right outside my window at work.

I like to stare at it while I’m taking calls from people who are much more affected by the full moon than most.  If you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Even riding home on the bus affords me the opportunity to see lovely visions of the season.

Then the inevitable happened and all those falling leaves made me think of this.

Then I giggle & snort and people move away and let me have two seats all by myself!  Win/win. 

A few other things I saw recently that I haven’t shared with you.  I saw an actual protest.  What?  I’ve led a very sheltered life out here in the suburbs.  The only thing that I ever remember being protested in Surrey is when they brought in Sunday shopping back in the early 80′s.  Boy, those were some turbulent times!

Anyway, this protest was against Canadian companies mining gold in Tibet.

Lastly, I’d like to talk about fashion choices.  No, no, not the whole tights =/= pants issue.  This is about boys who think they are all gangsta tough and erm… somewhat fashion forward?  Okay, I’m not being clear.  I’m talking about little dork thug life guys and their bejewelled/bedazzled/laméd outfits.  You know what I’m talking about.  You’ve seen them in the mall, shuffling along the street to some internal beat, (actually, not so internal as their iPods are usually cranked & deafening all those around them), quite often with a girl of questionable repute and at least one baby in a stroller.  Should we be blaming Ed Hardy?   Perhaps, perhaps.

‘Cause I gotta tell you, when I see someone dressed in these clothes, which no doubt are not cheap, hitting up people at the bus loop for cash, I’m a tidge annoyed.

Those pockets on his jeans?  Yeah, huge flaps with rhinestones and silver stitching.  When he walked, they sort of waved and shimmered at everyone behind him.  For the love of all that’s holy, have some self-respect man!  It’s not that you’re asking strangers for money, it’s that you look like some sort of Jersey Shore reject while you’re doing it.

Phew, apparently I needed to get that off my chest!  Snort.

 

 

Best transit story ever

When I read Plastic Alligator’s (aka Erin’s)  recent blog post of transit adventures I thought that there could be no more fabulous transit story.  I might have been wrong though, ’cause on Monday the following happened as I waited for the bus.

Picture it in your mind, it’s 3:00 pm on a weekday in Surrey and the sun is shining and warm.  As I am waiting for the bus an older gentleman (60 or 65 ish) rolls up on his scooter.  The scooter is all shiny red and metallic, very spiffy.  He pulls the scooter up super close to me and almost runs over my foot.  I’m not too sure how to deal with this and being the Canadian I am, I fight the urge to apologize and move out of his way, even though he almost ran me down.

Then he speaks.  He sound a little like Chekhov but much deeper and more gravelly.  Kind of like this guy:

And as he spoke, it all kind of went like this,

*RSD – Vat is your name? (and now I’m going to stop doing the accent, you just let your imagination do the strongest Russian/Eastern European accent ever)

T – my name is Tammy.  What is your name?

RSD – something incredibly Russian, perhaps Ivanigoranovski?  Just guessing you understand.)

RSD – Hello Tanny, it is very nice to meet you. (I don’t bother to correct him)

We shake hands.

RSD – Come, we go for lunch.

T – Um, I can’t.  I have to get home and feed my dog.  (Yes, I really did say that.  Weak?  Lame?  Oh yes, I think so.  Not, oh I can’t, I have to meet husband.  No, no.  I must get home and feed my dog.  Sigh.  Dork!)

RSD – No, no!  Come!  We go to ABC and have fish!  We have lunch!

T – Um, no, really, I can’t.  I have to get home to my dog. (dork!)

RSD – No, no!  We must go have fish!  We go to ABC and have lunch.  (At this point he slaps his right thigh, like I”m supposed to climb into his lap up on the scooter with him and ride off into the ABC sunset?  Oy.)

He now backs the scooter up a couple of feet, looks me up and down all come hither like and says:

RSD – You beautiful big girl!  You fill my arms up good!  (He opens his arms up wide at this point.  Like I’m going to jump into them or something?!?!?) Come, we go to have fish at ABC! ( I kid you not.  I could not make this stuff up if I tried.)

T – Umm, yeah, I really can’t.  Thanks so much for the invite though.  Gotta get home.  Hahahaha.  (Uncomfortable laugh inserted here.)

RSD – Ah, okay then.

And away he went, zipping away to ABC on his scooter.

Hey, I still got it apparently.  Well, as far as older Russian guys on scooters go.  Snort!

Last night’s anniversary dinner was magnificent.  Wanna see it?

You can find the recipe here.  I also wrapped the chicken breast in a bit o’ Rosemary ham.  We stuffed it with pear and Gouda cheese and some herbs de Provence.  Tres chi chi eh!

Also, a little warning for you, a whole bottle of champagne on a Tuesday night?  Not a great idea if you have to work on Wednesday.  Just saying.  It sure was tasty though. 

*Russian Scooter Driver

Probably. But it’s just rude to throw that in people’s face at 6:20 in the morning!